Winter Leave

Tomorrow we start winter break. Last year it was like entering some kind of cloud- an alternate universe that was my life prior to starting work on the front lines. Here are a couple quotes from what I wrote in my journal about the break:

The first four months of school were certainly startling... My students knocked me on my knees, I hit survival mode on the first day of school and was reeling backward, literally trying to stay alive during the first couple weeks of school. Everything I believed about education and about what I wanted to do with my life came crashing to the ground around me and as I sat sorting through the pieces the school year marched on dragging me along by my heels. It took two months for me to stand up and move forward to catch up with my students and the massive beast that was my classroom and my piece of the education system in New York City. During that time I appeared to everyone in the setting as a meek, skinny white guy from the Midwest trying very hard to survive in a setting that was entirely foreign to most human beings.

By the time the break rolled around last year, I felt as if my feet had hit the ground, but barely. It was my major accomplishment. While things certainly weren't fantastic in my classroom, I felt as though I was vertical and moving, and I'd begun to roll with some of the punches. That said, it was still ridiculously unclear what in the world I would need to do to be successful by my own standard.

It's felt that I never left, really. I'd been in the city for five straight months (save a weekend in Houston) and it feels like I was just here (Kansas) yesterday. It'll be interesting to see how long that feeling lasts. July will probably be the next time that I visit the Midwest.

When I was sitting on my parents' couch last December it felt as though everything I'd done in the four months prior was a thousand miles away (according to Google Maps, it's 1,223) or that someone else had done it and I had simply watched them closely. Perhaps that meant I was really back in my element. New York had been so jarring that it certainly could not be considered my element. If your time in the classroom has been less than stellar, getting out of the city is important if for no other reason than it helps remind you that things can be sane and normal (according to your own definition).

This year I really need to get out of the city as well. The amount of agitation, disrespect, city attitude and nutso people in these parts have really gotten to me lately. They are a minority and I have certainly defended New Yorkers as people who are just as nice as any other group of people once you get to know them, but the callousness that permeates crowds here has started to get under my skin. While last year I needed to get away to show myself again that the world hadn't gone completely insane, this year I simply want a short break from the city so I can appreciate it a bit more, relax and get ready for the spring.

Today's Wine: Charles Shaw Shiraz. Again, not as dry as their Cabernet, but a bit peppery like Shiraz oftentimes is. It also supported the fact that for the price, Charles Shaw is incredibly acceptable.

Edwize and The New York Teacher

Every so often the UFT send out emails asking new teachers for stories about their experiences in the city. Last week one of these emails also asked for any blogs that had to do with this topic. I had a mind last spring to send them a few ideas, so this time around I said what the heck and sent the URL for On the Front Line with Wine.

The guy who coordinates Edwize.org (the UFT news website) replied and said he wanted to submit a couple of the posts to the editor of The New York Teacher for consideration as potential pieces to include in one of this month's editions. I believe this paper is circulated to most of the UFT's 200,00o members and at least 200 probably read it. Of those 200 I would predict that no less than 20 will stumble upon what I wrote and actually get through it. That would be cool.

The article being published in New York Teacher is my entry: First Year Mentors

It's on the main page of Edwize.org right as The Importance of Mentors.

This Ewize Coordinator also added this blog to the blog reel at Edwize.org way down on the right hand side under NYC Teachers.

Thanks to everyone reading!


Today's Wine: Luchado's Shiraz 2007. This is was all fruit. I actually drank it with the Trentatre Rosso in my last post. The blogger who writes The Blog Wine Cellar said that this was just another "out of whack Aussie fruit bomb." I thought that was interesting. After the Trentatre all I tasted was fruit with this one. I thought it was pretty good though.

Do Not Smile or Scowl Until Christmas

Going through the School of Ed I was told, "Don't smile before Christmas."
Going through the School of Ed I was also told, "You know that line 'Don't smile before Christmas?- that's nonsense! Of course you should smile and show your students you care from day one!"

I'd like to endorse the former. When people say not to smile before Christmas they don't mean to literally not smile. They mean don't lighten up. After my student teaching I came to the city ready to work alongside students, ask them about their ideas and put my trust in them as students who, regardless of their issues, wanted to learn on some fundamental level. Trying that straight away was a terrible idea. My students thought I was "nice," which to them meant "this guy'll be easy to play." While most of them didn't try to tear me apart, those who tried certainly succeeded.

My smiling early soon dissolved into a scowl that was affixed to my forehead for the better part of the year. Not only did my students think I was a push-over, they thought that I had a terrible temper. The students actually trying in my class hated this and those who were causing the problems thought it was funny, so they pushed and pushed. It was a lose-lose-lose situation. If the students see you get angry and yell with any regularity, you can yell until you're purple and it won't help. Scowling and walking around pissed off really just sends them the message that you're angry with them. Would you be interested in working for a boss that was angry at you most of the time?

By the end of the year I was better able to control my reactions, as the students actions weren't surprising at all whatsoever, but I was still really angry about the whole situation. At the beginning of this year, however, I'd somehow gained the ability to simply not react to the funny things students have done or the more regrettable things they've done. I've certainly smiled, but not in reaction to anything inappropriate or during class when something has happened that is disruptive.

My advice to the First Years in the city is "don't smile and don't scowl until Christmas." Kids are hilarious and infuriating. Showing the students a human side is also important, however. The balance is difficult to achieve. When you're in front of the class you have to show them you're running the show. If you react by getting angry or playing along with students whose actions are disruptive, it may show them a weakness they can exploit. If you don't want them to push your buttons, don't show them where they can push.

When I was student teaching and substitute teaching I really, really wanted to get to the human side of teaching, show the students I was a real person and show them things they needed to know to be successful. Gaining their respect and trust that you can handle a class is much more important than trying to show them that you're human. In the city the students are going to test you and what they want to know is if you're cool under fire. You can get to the progressive education later. First gain the students respect. Without it you won't gain much else. To do that you have to stay in control of yourself and the class. While they'll show you in the most backward way, that's what they crave, need and demand and if you can't give it to them they won't give you what you ask of them.

Today's Wine: Indaba Shiraz. I picked this up at Trader Joe's for $7 and was incredibly pleased with it. The label says black cherry, pepper, etc. I wasn't really paying much attention past the fact that I really enjoyed it, however.